Lifestyle · urban youth

Former Lover Boy

There is no internet in jail, neither java nor art caffè. My body wasn’t even made for jail and so for the above mentioned reasons, I’ll try restrain myself from sliding a knife through your throat.

I’m grateful to this whole scenario cause it goes to affirm that I am indeed human characterized by real feelings. Feelings like love and hate, especially the latter.

Let’s walk down memory…

Oh my God, it was soo amazing! Remember when we had our first sleep over at your house? When we microwaved a boiled egg then it burst? Hahhaha stupid of us not to know huh? It sounded like a bomb man…Then as if that wasn’t enough, you spilled wine on my white top…a brand new top. Then finally, we over slept and forgot to remove the trash and you had to be stuck with trash for another week! Haaaa wasn’t my fault.

I fought for you, for us in the only possible way I knew how!

Temptations are everywhere! Even Jesus was tempted but even so, was it so damn hard to control your testosterone? Here is the thing, I did fancy other guys too. I did get a little excited over some chit-chat here and there, but never did I let that get in the way of our relationship. I never had a problem with you checking out other girls deri’s! Satisfy your thirst through your sight! I mean why say no or get pissed about it? You weren’t hooked to me 24/7.

I could go to your house, have your credit cards and cut them into small pieces, bleach your colored clothes, annihilate your laptop with all its content, break your camera and cook your SD card, open all the taps in and while at it ensure all your appliances are down on the floor! Then after all that, go to the spa and make my nails…

You wanna call me psycho? And crazy? Well guess what, you and only you created this!

I’m bent, I’m broken and above all messed up. You killed every emotion in me! Maybe I should be thankful cause now I do know what to exactly keep away from. I guess there is no point in holding on to anger, sadness or hope. This only harms me. I think I need to embrace the pain, for it is through such an experience, I come out a victor.

I let you in my  life, my family, my friends , my bed and you screw things like this? 31st December was pure bliss! We spent the last hours of the year cuddled up on the couch and the first few minutes of the new year kissing as we ushered in the new year! Making promises, dreaming together, making goals. Junking and having some red wine! Just you and me, wearing your maroon cardigan and socks we had bought when we had gone for our last lingerie shopping!…

But you know what you’ve done? Trashed that as a painful memory! All the dreams gone by the wind and the kind thoughts no longer kind!

No more wine while wearing nothing but your tee anymore!

No more lingerie shopping!

No more pancakes made by me for you, for breakfast!

No more cuddling with me!

No more microwaving boiled eggs anymore!

No more us. Just you and I. ‘WE’ no longer exists!

No more of me…

walk away 1.jpg

I give back your ass to the basic bih’s! Watch me walk away!


14 thoughts on “Former Lover Boy

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