I had a choice. I always had and still have a choice but I decided otherwise I guess!
Yes..I’m that girl.
I should be sorry? See, I’m still trying to figure that part out but I don’t quite feel excited right now. It all happened, not so fast, subtly actually and there I was, sailing in the same boat as he…
I needed to clear my head and come out clean you know….in any case you should give me props for this. I’m actually doing you a favor. Something your boyfriend didn’t have balls to do. Chill out and hear me out, or not…your choice.
I wasn’t dating!
To be quite frank, I wasn’t thinking of you. I did at some point but I wouldn’t let myself. It all started out one evening and we had some strong eye contact! Imagine we never talked to one another for like 3 months. We’d only glare and exchange smiles. Then one day he just caught up with me in the lift and it was just the two of us.
I wasn’t committed to anyone and neither was I about to waste my hoeish years. Nope! No way!
He did talk about you quite a lot if that’s any consolation. And no I did not have any problem with that. He’d show me your photos and I’d see how he’d marvel at the sight of you. I actually think you are beautiful. Your dimples are out of this world btw but why would he still hit me up when you were always there? Probably something to ponder on, right?
Always in the moment!
Girl, it was always intense between us. Is it like that for you guys now? I don’t think I care to know anyway. It wasn’t the tap and go kinda thing, no! Even I was surprised for a minute but I was like hey, seems interesting..nothing I have been through before and so why not? See, I did ask him why he was hitting me up and he still had you?! You see I cared…for you, but sorry I can’t even remember what he said. It just wasn’t convincing enough for me to actually call it quits.
Wait a minute though,
I wanted him you needed him!
Yeah, maybe that was the issue right there or part of it. I was perfectly good without him. Need him? girl, nope! Not me but you. You needed him he knew either way you’d still take him back or give him a chance. I had a game of my own and there are times I turned him down. I did not need any assurance he’d be there…I was good either way but as for you? Eehm. You put yourself there.
I wasn’t cheating on anyone, he was!
Was that really my problem? No I don’t think so. It should have been his problem and he never seemed bothered by it to say the least! Maybe I should have put myself in your shoes? No, I wasn’t about that life! I did not know you, I knew him and he was real to me! You weren’t! You know there was a time you called and I was there. You guys talked for long waaah..in the whole conversation he did not lie. Towards the end he said, ‘…yea I’m with my friend and we are catching a movie so I gotta go…” I had no problem with that! We indeed were friends. You asked no further and he did not tell the unnecessary.
I’m no home wrecker, I’m actually a nice person. Maybe we should link up some time and you know, exchange ideas or something like that.
Back like I never left! I’m sorry I was going through a writer’s block!