Relationships · Sex

Let’s take some notes…

She dared me and for a minute I was contemplating and finally thought why not?

Something I don’t think I’ve done before so y’all better come slow at me! Lets have some sex talk. No need to be embarrassed or scared..yaah??? (I think I’m trying to convince myself here)

Why are we so ashamed or rather why do we normally not talk about S to the E to the X??? Probably something I should look into and blog about it, huh? Okay, let’s get down to business. Mamis y’all better listen and take some notes. Men, yes, you can thank me later. You are welcome matter of fact.

  1. I know I know, I havent been to the gym for a minute and I haven’t been on that healthy diet so don’t stare at my love handles too much?!

The heck??? Why you gon say something like that though? Like if I minded, we wouldn’t be in this current situation. Okay???

 2. Silent lover.

Like am I an angel to know what you exactly want??? See, its like this; you don’t like something? spill. You like it different? sure why not!.. but don’t just grunt about it. I’m not psychic. Find your sexual language and speak it!

3. Passive and unnecessary disclaimers that your body isn’t like that of a cover model...

Yah I know you are not those cover girls or top models. Quit comparing yourself to size 6’s. Embrace your size hunny! Kindly leave your insecurities at the door!

4. After sex talk!

Him: Hunny I really loved how you moved your hips. The rhythm was way out of league! 10/10. But next time or later on how about you do back and forth instead of up and down?

Her: Oh okay. Why not? 🙂

See was that so hard??? SMH!!!

5. Be in the moment!

Okay, lemmie ask, don’t you want the big O? The pleasure?? Yeah, thought so..but how can you get to that point if all you thinking about is what positions to be in so that he doesn’t note the not so flat tummy? Or the jiggly rather not so firm thighs? Snap out of it mami! It’s all in the mind. You fake it, then sorry…your loss anyway!

6. Negative criticism or comparisons!

Now this goes both ways. Alright?

Men, some of us are not porn stars. Okay? So quit imagining things in your head and hoping I’ll grind on you like that shawty you saw in that blue movie! Yes! Thank you very much!

Women, you are not having sex with Cristiano Ronaldo. Get that through your head. Okay? Not every guy has the body mass you want, the broad shoulders, buffed chest or the 6 pack for days! So get over it!

Both y’all have no right to demean or compare each other for what y’all do and how you do it during sex. Period! If you want that sex goddess, make one out of your woman or travel back in time, there you’ll meet Venus! Ooh and vice versa too!

7. Learn!

Yeah right, as if you knew everything in the world! Sometimes you need to get schooled. No need to act like a know it all! If anything, lower your pride and come down like literally and learn a few tricks of the game. Right? Anything to be a better lover! I mean you ought to have some game man!

8. FOREPLAY IS NOT AN OPTION!!!

Need I repeat this again? It should have been the first point actually! Foreplay, foreplay, foreplay?! Got it? It is part of the process! You simply don’t lay a house without foundation! You start with some foundation and a firm one fyi!

9. Don’t like it? Then don’t bother.

Yeah, it’s as simple as that. Don’t lick it, don’t blow it, don’t suck it. It should not be at my expense to give you what you personally want if I don’t enjoy it. If you not liking oral, then don’t force yourself to do it.

And there, I think I should stop. Hope you enjoyed reading and maybe just maybe got schooled in the process. Let’s meet in the comment section.

 

 

 

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23 thoughts on “Let’s take some notes…

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