What is it about then? Please educate me, cause I really want to know and leave alone knowing, understanding too. I feel like am just about to sound like my mother, mmmnh smh! I suppose this is one of those instances where I have to agree with what mama Ella has been saying all this time! Though I would love to be disagreeing! I mean, doesn’t feel so good when you lose and mum wins and you have to say ‘yes mum you were right!’ as if she’s ever been wrong…

So, have you ever had those moments or had that time when you are in the company of your friends or your circle and you just having fun, chilling then someone makes a comment and you laugh but the moment you walk away or they leave the statement or the joke gets to you and you are like ‘yoo!!! man! that guy must have been talking about me or rather, it must be that experience I had on that day’. It hits you sooo hard and in as much it was a joke couple of minutes ago, its turned into serious stuff!

So this happened to me!

Been down memory lane and I thought hard, before exercising my freedom of speech, I did exercise that of thought and that is why am writing about this! Today!

Here is what mama Ella asked, why must you have a boyfriend? I did not have a concrete answer, never heard a concrete answer! Then radio happened and yours truly DJ Andy Young said something that got me thinking.

Why should I be in a relationship now? Why should that guy date me or any other lady for that matter and especially so while still in university in my fresh years of after teenage life?

The guy struggles with ‘kukuingisha box’ for whatever time it is depending on the ladys game, he takes you out for dinner, lunch, pizza date and what not, he calls you almost all the time, he initiates conversations etc,,,point is, he ‘works’. How about the girl, you only dress up and put on make up and APPEAR! Hold on before you get on my case, I know there are girls who pay for the dates but this isn’t for you but those who don’t. So thing is, the mami is always on the receiving end! But ever asked yourself, and then?

What are you giving this guy  in return? Look at it like this, this guy has a mum, sister, or female cousins or a cool auntie, that female classmate…

If he wants someone to talk to, he could to his cousin, or a therapist for that matter, if he wants someone to hang out with, there is that female classmate, emotional release, he’s got his hommies man! someone to cook for, he could go to his mamas house….

so I asked myself, is it only for sex? wooow!!! I still don’t even know what to say. Not unless we are business partners…mmmh idk!

What do you think?? talk to me! Share those sentiments…


19 thoughts on “IS IT ALWAYS ABOUT SEX?

  1. You honestly had me sit and reflect on that for a moment, i don’t think we have to generalize everything to what we know personally, there’s a lot out there we’re all missing.Maybe meeting one with a unique kind of setting,

    Liked by 1 person

  2. i beg to differ on this, i think you got it all wrong. so tell me is this ninja going to walk his mum, aunty, sister or therapist down the aisle five years from now? i think we are been a little too general just like there are still nice girls out there so are nice men. not all are just after your pants. but back to us ladies, you choose the kind of treatement you want, if you proove to be an easy goer, then that is what they’ll take you for, you choose to be decent and morally upright, he respects you and leaves all the other whores for you.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. so what if he is 20.? oh yeah, he’s too young to be dating, show me a 20 year old child, and i will so leave your case. the more he waits the more he is bound to make very major mistakes while looking for a mami to settle down with. the earlier the better. that’s my school of thought.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. i think you have point dear but it depends on the kind of guy that you are in a relationship with. Not all guys are like ‘ team mafisi’. Being in a relationship is a beautiful thing and it makes you grow emotionally. You learn to deal with issues on how to cope and tolerate some of the things your guy does. Basically, your mind is opened up and exposed.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. My rule on this one is simple, I am 22 right now, if it so happens that i get married, that can happen from the age of 29 and above, in short dating for seven years is weird, just leave it at friendship, girls are out here getting hurt and stuff yet they know when something is totally in vain

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I truly see your point of view. I concur with every bit of your argument, especially when it concerns us teenagers and youths at the highschool or early Uni years. I mean why would you want to date at this point in time… I mean you have a whole life ahead of you PLUS we are still growing, still knowing ourselves, what we want, still living life, So why do you want to commit or look good for a guy who also at this point in his life is immature, constantly changing thanks to the raging testosterone? Unless you are all for early marriage, go ahead! explore your possibilities. Otherwise we need to redefine the meaning of dating. Because now it seems it connotes wasting each others time and gaining unwarranted, useless experiences.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. AMAZING!!! I should tell ester to come and read your post and see what am exactly saying but in other words! The fact that we even find people changing courses after two yrs should tell you that this person hasnt gotten to that point of knowing what they really want in life, as so applies when it comes into a rltnp. these people dont even understand what love really is…

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Hahaaha, Yeah sooo true. I hadn’t seen it that way. If one can’t decide a four course, how will they choose a long term relationship, and yes btw what exactly is love?? We need an article on that to enlighten us… coz the meaning is too jumbled up, threatening itself to non-existence.

    Liked by 1 person

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