A couple of month ago, I was not the person I am today. I have lost loved ones, I have been heartbroken, I have loved wrong, I have lost my identity but I have equally received more love, I have sharpened my skills in the kitchen(i just had to say this one hehe), I have been blessed with another family member (my little munchkin…i tell you that boy is cute…oh my word!!!), I joined school, I have learnt how to relate with others, I have added weight…the list is endless, but point is my life has been like a mary go round-ups and downs, left right and centre, but I am still here and I know I’ll still live.
So one evening my brother in law asked me, eeeeh this is like 2 years ago…and i was still that little naive girl who knew mum is gonna take care everything, nothing is gonna go wrong, I mean I was the last born girl so I could easily get away with somethings. I had fixated my mind on one thing and at no time would I even think outside the box. I knew in my little mind that mum had it all under control (not that she is not in control now, in any case, she is in control like nobody’s business) I was okay in my little cocoon and just lived life as it came until that one evening.
‘Muthoni, what happens if you don’t go to the school of your dreams and forced to pick another course all together’. Off course I did not have an answer for him and I cannot recall what excuse of an answer I gave him but it ticked me that I started thinking. He went ahead and told me a couple more things but there is one thing I stuck to and still live by it. He gave me this idea and maybe I did not take it up as he meant but I dug deep and went for it hard.
I needed a friend. Yah a friend, and I did not have any. I needed someone to talk to, someone I could just go to and vent and get it all out of my system. Someone I could tell my secrets, someone who would not judge me, someone who would never tire listening and tire seeing me in my best and worst moments, someone who would never be busy to ever see me, someone who would remember my best moments and remind me of them when I was down, but I could not find that. Well, I did. At this point I was very frustrated with my life and I hated everyone and I had this negativity oozing..i tell you it was baaad, that’s why I needed a friend and thanks to my bro with his brilliant idea.
So I started writing and writing and writing. At the bottom of every page i would write what I felt, the date and sign. It would be a reminder and an archive. I found a friend in pen and paper. And till today I still write. Its such an amazing way of unwinding. Very helpful. And my sister just got me another diary…aren’t I a happy lot? 🙂
If you don’t keep a diary or a journal, I suggest you give it a shot …trust me its goooood!!!